Well about time i blogged about this…
This week is is Mental Health Awareness week ( see HERE ) and i`ve always been open about my mental health.
A few years back after a particularly rough patch and being bounced from GP to hospital and after various diagnoses they declared i have (wait for it …it`s a mouthful) Emotionally Unstable Undefined Personality Disorder…
If you have EU-UPD you feel as if you are on a white knuckle thrill ride and not just with emotions or relationships but it also affects who you see yourself as.
I am extremely sensitive and the only way of describing it is it feels like an exposed nerve ending and the dreaded jitters and the constant going to the worst case scenario . Small little things can provoke and trigger intense reactions and once i am upset it is very hard to calm me down.
I do use medication to help control my symptoms and they do help but i am on the waiting list for a CBT (cognitive behavioural therapy) course and a Mentalizing course which hep me to challenge negative behaviour and cycles.
For people like me with EU-UPD, almost everything is unstable, our moods , our thinking , our behaviour. It can be a frightening and painful way to live but there is hope!
I have a very good support network , including my great partner Mandy and our children , plus also all the BL team and family and friends. They all understand that i do not mean to be the way i am and have learned how best to cope with me.
I run Bolton Live as a way of helping control my behaviour and to give myself structure (and to help people obviously) All the team understand fully if i need to disappear for a bit or i just can`t do anything.
So why am i telling you all this?
It`s simple… If you have a friend , family member , work colleague or even acquaintance struggling… start that conversation… you know the one you have been putting off…
Believe me , if you are isolated and feel alone a brew and a chat will (at least) get that conversation started and could really help, it did with me….